In Encanto, the family stops talking about Bruno. He lives behind the walls, trying to patch the cracks while everyone carries on as if the house has no problem.
Child, the cracks did not get that memo.
You may know that move. Anxiety shows up, and your mind says, “Nope. We are not doing this.” So you scroll, keep busy, pour another drink, or talk yourself out of feeling anything at all. Those moves might help for a minute. Then you spend half your energy keeping the door shut.
Acceptance does not mean you like it
The word acceptance can sound like someone wants you to roll over and call the hard stuff fine. I would side-eye that too.
In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), acceptance means making room to notice what you feel without spending your whole life trying to outrun it. You can feel fear, shame, grief, or anger without treating the feeling as a command. You also do not have to approve of what happened, forgive someone, or stay in a situation that hurts you.
Sometimes a feeling points to a problem you need to address. Sometimes it brings an old warning into a new moment. We can get curious about which one you face.
What happens when you stop hiding Bruno?
Suppose shame shows up before a gathering and tells you everyone will judge you. You might spend the evening studying every face, rehearsing every sentence, and finding reasons to leave early. Or you might notice, “Shame is here,” feel the discomfort, and choose one small way to connect with someone anyway.
That second choice does not guarantee a pleasant evening. It gives you a little more say in what happens next.
When you take the fight out, you take the bite out.
We do not have to drag every feeling into the room at once. If something overwhelms you, we can slow down and choose a manageable place to start. The point is not to prove how much discomfort you can stand. The point is to make room for your life alongside the feelings that come with it.
Bring the real question to therapy
You can ask, “What am I working so hard not to feel? What does that effort cost me? If I let this feeling come along for a moment, what would I choose?” Maybe the answer involves a conversation, a boundary, rest, or help. We can explore it together without pretending the answer always comes easily.
I’m Shane Hennesey, MEd, LPC-S. I work online with adults across Texas who carry anxiety and trauma, including people who look put together while doing a whole lot of work behind the walls. If you want to see how this approach works in an actual session, read What Actually Happens in ACT for Anxiety?. If you want to talk about your own situation, book a consultation. We can see whether working together makes sense.